Monthly Archives: July 2011

A Pro’s guide to online dating

Yeah, I said it. I’m a pro. Well, I met some guy on OKCupid and am marrying him in less than four months. (Shit!)

Jezebel did a guide to online dating, and creating your perfect profile. Which is interesting, and it’s also interesting to read comments from people (as I am a habitual comment reader, on nearly everything I visit on the web with the exception of who are at the start of it all.

You get this thrill of attention when you first turn to online dating. Like many places in life, you get plenty of attention for being a n00b. This never comforted me, actually, until I turned to the world of online dating. I was never very accomplished in my first year of anything: high school, college, professional life. Being an older sibling had something to do with it, as I had grown up having to wait for things when my 5 years junior brother expected to receive everything without working for it. I always tried to understand my role, and play it cool my first year. Take over my second or third.

But not with online dating. I was the hot new girl on the block. When I first became active on OKCupid in 2008, it was like a window had been opened to a world that was made just for me. A somewhat attractive, nerdy girl who loved music and had a healthy appreciation for pretentious books and movies, and who wasn’t reluctant or difficult to read? Psh. I felt like I was a thousand nerdboys dream come true, and I relished in it.  (Read: I also really needed it at the time.)

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eat it, Bachmann!

I was actually looking for reliable information on divorce rates for the decades in which I grew up (I turned 18 in 2000, which should give you a pretty good indicator of my youth-ness).

And I found this, which referenced Nate Silver, on whom I have had a huge crush for years. HIS BIG SEXY BRAIN!

Derp derp, same-sex marriages might actually decrease the divorce rate?!

Well, it’s kind of a shot.  There’s a chance it’s right.  Except that Silver is never.  Wrong.

Big.  Sexy.

Brain.  You got it!

(Addendum: T-storm might not be any use for statistical modeling, but he’s got a pretty big, sexy brain himself!)

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don’t you hate it when?

You discover a blog, or finally get onto the bandwagon, only to join them at the point where the author only posts about the book tour they’re currently on?

Looking at you, Bakerella, Regretsy, Stuff White People Like; even I Can Has Cheezburger was guilty of such at some point.  Sadly, I worry that A Practical Wedding (which is effing fantastic, if you didn’t know) might turn in that direction shortly.

Thanks to Offbeat Bride for not doing that, or if Ariel ever did, then she did it long before I found said blog.

Seeing as blog-writing is seemingly the new shortcut to getting published these days, I promise that if anyone ever wants to get me a book deal, I won’t blog incessantly about it.

I don’t plan on ever writing a book, at least not this way.  I’ve just been a compulsive online journaler since 2000.  Whatevs.

Tangentially related to such, I was really annoyed that the NY Times seemed to absorb Five Thirty Eight, aka best political blog ever.  (Next to Politifact.)

And I am encouraged that one of my other favorite blogs, East Side Bride, will likely never turn in that direction, even though she also writes for 100 Layer Cake.

(And also: STOP THE FREAKING PRESSES.  I just found this photo on the ESB blog and I CAN’T REMEMBER MY PINTEREST PASSWORD!!)

(I also need to stop reading so many damn blogs and finish reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao this summer, because it’s a freaking fantastic book.  But I read a lot and then don’t forever.  That’s the way I do most things; i.e. you haven’t seen me post here in two three weeks.)

(One more note about blog-inspired books: not that I mind these bloggers writing books.  I will probably have bought about 6 copies of Cake Pops by the time we’re all said & done.)

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love & marriage

via & Dolly Couture

Two of our friends just got engaged!

This is super exciting news!  But it’s complicated.  And it shouldn’t be.

Really, the only thing that’s complicated is that they have to go to a state that will marry them, or wait until certain people catch up with the times. (Not looking good for Governor Palpatine here.)

They are a lesbian couple, and they are wholly awesome as individuals.  And as all great couples seem to be, they are even more fantastic together than they are separately.  They make each other better – you can feel it when they’re around each other.  I was so very excited to hear they got engaged, and then for a moment I got sad.

I hope to have many great accomplishments in my life, and I certainly hope I didn’t peak at 27.  (If I did, well then damn.  I’m in trouble.)  But I am satisfied in saying that getting engaged was the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.  Anyone can travel the globe, or make the game-winning goal at the World Cup, or win a Nobel prize, but only I get to marry T-storm.  (Okay, that is SUPER hokey & exaggerated, but I do kinda feel that way.)

Not only was it a complete surprise, but he kind of knocked it out of the park in the way he went about it.  I was so thrilled, and the excitement I felt when it first happened is a lasting sort – I still get truly giddy when I think about it.

And I didn’t play it cool afterwards.  Not by a longshot.  I went bonkers berserk to anyone who would listen.  I was floating above the clouds for at least the next 36 hours.  I probably even made some bad work decisions based on how happy I was.  Nevertheless.

So I thought of our friends: I thought of how much they love each other,  how excited I am that they get to spend the rest of their lives together, and I thought of how there are others out there who actively fight to exclude these two totally wonderful people from getting to participate in some of the most beautiful aspects of being in love.

It made me so sad.  I’ve always been pro-gay marriage – it seems like such a non-issue to me and I truly cannot understand why anyone would be against it – and have watched other gay friends get married.  But now that I am ass-deep in planning and preparing for my own wedding, I feel it in my bones.  I feel such a deep sense of injustice that anyone would not recognize the sovereign love of these two people.  Just because both of them have boobs.

It’s clear to me how devoted they are to one another.  It’s clear to anyone within a 100 mile radius of them how devoted they are to one another.  Regardless of when they get married, or where they get married, I hope they plan the most badass crazy amazing celebration that anyone could imagine.  And I hope they each feel the same utter high that I have been riding for the last year and half.  And I will gladly fight anyone who tells them they should feel otherwise.

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