well well well. I had written eariler about odd ways of being approached in daily life, but I had an experience a couple of weeks ago that left me feeling positive and complimented, and not violated.
T-storm and I have a BJ’s membership (laugh if you will), which is awesome if you want to buy sparkling water, Fage yogurt doubles and quinoa in bulk at a decent price. Costco is a better company, yes, but at least we don’t have a Sam’s Club membership. and I don’t even know where the nearest Costco is.
I was buying bottlewater in bulk for an event, and I headed to the register to get rung up. maybe the cashier did actually check me out at the same time, but I didn’t feel like I was being objectified. we had a conversation during the transaction, and he was particularly friendly. of course, at big discount stores, they check your receipts as you exit, and I noticed on my receipt that I’d only been charged for three giant packs of water, when I’d gotten six. I didn’t want to get my butt kicked by the exit police at BJ’s. (that would be a pretty crummy fall from grace story if there ever was one – loss of career due to shoplifting bottled water at a membership discount store. glory be.)
so I went back to remedy the situation. and the cashier felt a little embarassed at his mistake. but he also said to me, “Here I was, thinking you were coming back to get my number.”
I responded, with a grin, “No, I’m married.” I nodded politely, we completed the transaction, and smiled away. he said nothing more on the subject, but wished me a good way after he charged me for the other water.
I wasn’t objectified, and he had simply made a flirtatious, yet polite comment. I certainly got the message that he’d like me to give him my number, but it wasn’t anything creepy or asshole type. certainly not someone chasing me down in a parking lot at Panera shouting “EXCUSE ME!”
so for any Men’s Rights goons who think that feminism excludes the opportunity for men to be complimentary and flirtatious, please take this as an example of flirting without being a sexist prick.
it is possible!